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nettipäiväkirja
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viime muutokset
(In Finnish: villi)
I was tired with everything:
streets that were too hard
buildings you have to lock
difficult people, small conflicts
hopes, disappointments, all things small and pitiful
and so I remembered that out there, somewhere
there's a much bigger world
without structure, without agreements
that just keeps going on, like waves
rising, waning, changing, flowing
without opinion about what it's supposed to be
without fear of being insufficient
full in itself, without meaning as such
big and without boundaries, just waiting for someone to meddle
only motivated by will and despair
And so I left, leaving everything behind
all responsibilities I'd taken
all people I loved or hated
all dreams, big and small
all compliments, things achieved
and took the path to where water flows from
to upper reaches, to roots, to the origin of everything
to the shades, the highlands, dry plateaux
and the clear, oligotrophic lakes there
whose surface ripples in the harsh wind
and the chasms in the lake basin fall into eternal oblivion
to the forests on the high hills, to chilly gorges
into small, wet cavities
to boundless plains, whipped by rain
to blazing rock fields, to the tops of mountains
It wasn't easy to get there
it wasn't easy to go past the last house
not easy to let the last road go
not any easier to leave the paths
worse to be on food you must find
hardest to throw away the map
it was far, untouched, the last one
forgotten, void of meaning, empty
and I took my place there, in my dreams
that were as empty and wild as my surroundings
as much without meaning, as useless
my big, wonderful dreams
in the big circulation of a magnificent world
that benignly forgot all about me
the small one, until my death
and only left behind some remnants of me
to the people who later came to overtake the wild